Take that, France!

Something that's been on my mind for a while is how France has managed to fail...no, lose in every war. They haven't won a war since that French and Indian war, part of the 7 years war, where Germany kicked their sorry England-Beating Asses. (England beat them later)
Hands down, their military strength sucks.

Now you see, also brought to mind is how Switzerland has managed to dodge every war, staying neutral on every occasion. How they manage to do this, I have no idea. Perhaps bribes? Perhaps their cool little red knives? Or maybe Hitler was scared to attack a country that had a white plus sign on its flag.
"No, don't attack us, you want Swiss Cheese, eh?"

Now something to imagine is if France and Switzerland were to have a war with each other, you can't be too sure of the turnout. Actually, Switzerland will probably back out of the war, and France would somehow manage to blow themselves up with nuclear missiles, toss baguettes at each other in anguish, and then go complain about their problems to England and the US.
Pfft, scavenging noobs.
Go whimper to the higher powers, why dont'cha.

So, in this scenario, there would be no winner. Hell, both sides lost. I don't see why Switzerland WOULDN'T want to back out of the war, its not like they can run into their ranks and stab people with nail files from their little Swiss Army Knives. Unless they built a mini-gun into those, that'd actually be quite impressive.
With that said, you can be sure that although both sides lost, the real winner is the USA, the proud, USA. Thats right. Even though we never took place in that war, we gain the upper hand by letting more and more people to get obese (oftentimes on baguettes, you dirty French ) and spend billions of taxpayer dollars to fund HotPlates. Good, good hotplates.
Not to mention, we also have cool digital watches.
Take that Switzerland! You think you're so great with them Swatches that nobody buys!